come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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