Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Randomize
