Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
