If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
