Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
operation have a gay friend backfired
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
