belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
