I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
