I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
