she was so not down for the gang bang
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
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