Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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