Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
