ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
