Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
tell me about the eggs
Randomize