Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
