I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I will pee on everything he values.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Randomize
