do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
