I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize