If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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