hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Is this like a preordered booty call?
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
