You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
