There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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