Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I need water and some morals
Randomize
