DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
