fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
