I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize