I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Randomize
