Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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