I'll bet she douches with gravy.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Randomize
