some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
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