What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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