That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
