Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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