Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
