sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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