real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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