garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
