The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
