I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Just high enough for therapy.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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