i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I deserve to be covered in dicks
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
