Me too!
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Randomize
