I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
