i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
