Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
