Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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