Have you finally orgasmed yet?
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Walk of Shame today included voting.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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