Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
What a dumb baby whore.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
