is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
