You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
The struggles of a small town man whore
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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