i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
