so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Randomize
