Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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