That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
