I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
