Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
