How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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