People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
