So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I didn't notice because vodka
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
