hell yes lets make some ravioli
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
