chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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