I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
