so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
P.S. I can't hear my feet
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
