She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Randomize