Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
