Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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