Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
