you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
