Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
