This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
