Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
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