he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
They took my balls.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
