it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Randomize
