you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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