So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
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