Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
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