Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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