dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
