so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
That accounts for only three of the penises
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
