The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
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