I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Mom said you looked used
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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