Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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