You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
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