I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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