If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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